so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When did angry sex become our thing?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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