It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i barfeds in our rink
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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