Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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