just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
