Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
