he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize