Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize