a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
