I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
