so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
