Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We have so much sex to catch up on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
