White coat. Heels.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
