Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
