dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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