Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there was a trapeze. enough said
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
