you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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