who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
