Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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