I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
