Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
