I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
