Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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