that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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