You're so nebulous sometimes
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
