he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I licked your asshole in confidence.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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