I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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