He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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