what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
