is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize