# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish i was in the wii world.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
