I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
