He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize