i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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