yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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