Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
