Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
