very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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