This girl is more easily done than said...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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