My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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