He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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