Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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