Umm I'm too high to move.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you had me at cake vodka
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
