# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
