Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize