I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
