So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
