cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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