Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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