I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Randomize
