I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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