so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
