R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
