sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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