is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Panties = found
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
