bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
