how can u be prego again
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
