he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
