another moral hangover. fuck.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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