and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
