32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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